Random scrambled eggs and toast

I read a while back about a woman who was terminally ill with cancer whom has decided to end her life under Oregon's "Death with Dignity Act", and today she has passed away. Now, reading the comments about the breaking news of her death is heartbreaking. I wish some people wouldn't be so judgmental about someone in so much pain, and didn't want to put her family in pain, watching her suffering. Saying that she committed suicide, or should have fought harder, ect.  The committed suicide part is what bugs me the most.

She was in pain, serious pain. Would you like to spend one day in her shoes? How much pain she has endured? It was HER choice. Her family respected her choice.

Another thing that really bugs me, and this is still a sore subject because I am still numb to it. Robin Williams. He committed suicide on August 11, 2014. It was seriously one of the most heart-breaking celebrity deaths, but not to a lot of people. Some call him "selfish" or ask "why would you want to kill yourself when you have all this money?" Obviously, again, you haven't spent a day in his shoes.

He was suffering, mentally and possibly physically because he was in the beginning stages of Parkinson's disease. He was well-loved and appreciated and possibly one of the greatest comedians of our time. I remember back in high school theater I was told to watch his Inside the Actor's Studio because it was the best one they have had, ever. I watched it about a couple weeks after he had passed and laughed so much and cried as well. It was true. We lost a legend.  He was someone I looked up to in my theater days because I wanted a shot at comedy,

So, why did he want to take his own life? We will never know, but we can make our assumptions.  He was in and out of rehab for alcohol (which he was very open about), he had money problems, (possibly), or he was fighting his inner demons. We all have them, but sometimes we can fight them off because we are strong, some need a little help to fight them off, but others...they aren't as strong to fight them off. Or don't realize they need the help because they probably think that others have the same struggles as you so you don't think you need help. I didn't think I needed help until I was trying to take the trash out of the trash can and when I couldn't get it out I freaked out, kicked the trash can and ran into my room shaking because i was so angry I could have done anything. I know, that may sound like the stupidest reason to seek help, but it was a warning sign, and I was lucky enough to have someone stronger than me by my side to calm me down.

Robin Williams had his alcohol, of course it wasn't the right help, but it definitely made his pain go away. Make his demons go away, even just for a little while.

I had spent one year drinking my guts out because that's what numbed MY pain. My suffering. I could forget why I was there in the first place even if it was just for a night, but my friends helped me out a lot that one year, and I finally got my senses together and limited my drink. (If you're still wondering if I drink now, the answer is once in a blue moon...see what I did there?)

My inner demons started to build when I went through (what I believe) one of the most traumatic events of my life (so far). I went through a break-up. Don't laugh at me, because you think that's a lame reason to develop these demons, but it's true. You don't know who you truly are until you have gone through a harsh break-up. (well, at least i didn't).

Well, before I keep going further, I will attempt to make my point. FINALLY.

All I'm saying is, you don't know someone's suffering. Don't judge someone by the actions they make (whether they be the right or wrong) but maybe spend a day in their shoes before you think twice about calling someone who wants to end their life "selfish". Although it will never happen, because we have a thing called "social media" now, you can voice your opinions all you want without any repercussions and the world can't change over night.

By the way, if you know someone who is suffering from depression, or even just having a bad day, talk to them. Trust me, you never know what difference you might make in their life. I'm so thankful for the support I have, and some people might not even have that.

My husband mentioned something tonight about my blog who I really want to encourage. He wants to do a blog about being the outsider looking in. He has experienced alot in his life, and I want people to hear the other side of the story, Not just mine. I might get him to be a "guest spot" on my blog. I hope he does. I want to read the suffering i have put him through.


Tootles!

PS. Sorry for the long rant, and no photos today.


RIP Brittany Maynard & Robin Williams